One more year gone.

One year down, two more to go.

One year of him leaving monthly, sometimes more than once.

One year of him missing the boys lives, of us sacrificing so much.

One year of us feeling as if we are in survival mode constantly, always anxious of the next time he will have to go. Dealing with big emotions in little ones and ourselves.

One year of fearing the phone ringing with news that something terrible has happened.

One year, two more to go. If all goes to plan. It could be longer.

What kills me most is knowing that this pain and hardship we feel is felt by numerous other trooper families across the state of Texas.

We are proud of our troopers; their dedication to duty, to keeping Texas safe. Even when it means we, their spouse and children, are the sacrifice.

We are thankful for the support when we have it. Believe me, sometimes our troopers are hated on for being LEO and as their families we aren’t always supported and told that we “chose this lifestyle”. So, to have support to even go grocery shopping without all the kids in tow for a moment of peace can mean the WORLD to us.

We chose the person, not the lifestyle.

So, no, we don’t need the attention - don’t want it. And it certainly doesn’t mean we don’t need support. But that’s another post for another day.

Today I want to celebrate that we made it through one more year of deployments, hardships, forever changing schedules, supporting each other, finding ways to make life happy when it doesn’t always feel that way. Surviving depression, anxiety - maybe lost friends because we battle these things and hide away with them, because sometimes it’s too overwhelming to come out into life that continues on when we feel ours needs to pause.

If you’re a trooper wife /husband and reading this, thank you. I may not KNOW you or even talk to you everyday, but knowing you KNOW how I feel means I don’t feel so terribly alone in this whirlwind of emotions.

To my Trooper: we will be praying for you while you’re gone, missing you everyday and waiting for you with hugs when you come home.